Okay Scaramucci. Am I the only one who looks at this guy and sees Don Cornelius in whiteface? Right, you don’t know who Don Cornelius is. I can’t believe how old I am. There was a story in the NYT today, a reminiscence about getting drafted by a guy who didn’t have any objections to the Vietnam war. I’m still kind of proud that I refused induction at Fort Hamilton back then, refused to step over that line. Probably as physically brave as I’ve ever been now that I think about it. But today’s sermon is on the subject of dix, children. Like Fort Dix where I think this guy was inducted? For all of you who were too young to have ever seen Don Cornelius on Soul Train. Sigh. Now I watch CNN and MSNBC and I splash around in a constant state of rage. All these talking heads repeating over and over how Trump needs to change and golly do you think he can change? Conversations that haven’t changed since the middle of last year. And the Trump shills who have to be listened to respectfully or else we don’t have no television show now do we?
Want to know what sticks in my mind from television a year ago? “Leftist radical youth_ going at Trump supporters outside an arena in San Diego, trying to rip their Trump signs out of their hands. The street-fighting punks dancing around, careful not to make actual dangerous contact, the totally outnumbered Trumps including women standing up to them let’s face it surrounded and brave while I sit in front of the TV, embarrassed for my liberal scaredy-cats. And now I sit around waiting for him to fire Mueller as the committees drone on. Tell me. Where is the rage? Where is the passion? Why aren’t there Democratic congressman and senators standing up on their hind legs on the damned television, their faces red, appalled at the top of their lungs that no attorney general or president has shown any interest in American democracy being suborned? Damn people are like hippie parents mewling to their children. Why aren’t any of them pounding the table and saying Jared, I think you’re a liar and if there’s anyone in this room who doesn’t I’d like to talk to those persons about a fabulous investment opportunity re a bridge connecting Brooklyn to lower Manhattan. Been in the family for years. Why is the DNC picking it’s battles the way a prosecutor picks the cases he takes because he doesn’t ever want to lose one? If I had a magic wand I’d have bought ten-, twenty-, thirty-second slots all over Wisconsin and Michigan and Pennsylvania and Ohio so that the day after the baseball game shooting all the Trump voters could watch him talking about what the Second Amendment people might be able to do about Hillary chuckle chuckle while the old guy in the red shirt sitting behind him gasps. I didn’t hear even Don Lemon refer to that! And I like Don!
There’s a world of Trump footage that would work replayed any day of the week in those markets and you wouldn’t even need to write any copy, just run ’em as is. All those hipster advertising geniuses who make the Super Bowl ads, where are they? I thought Tom Perez, nice easy smile, give him a chance but nah.Ten seconds about Thank God the president has now made it so we can kill hibernating bears, might that not be a good thing for those Rust Belt people to see? Why don’t I ever simply hear nobody would lend to him since the nineties if not the eighties ’cause he um doesn’t pay people back so he went to the Russian shylocks and now suddenly Republicans love Russia and Trump is queer for Putin and what? No tax returns? Huh. That’s funny. See, the Republicans repeat the same crap over and over and you know what? It works. Why can’t the Democrats do that? A running scoreboard of secret meetings lied about until discovered. Ten seconds. In the Rust Belt. Over and over. Daily. Alright. I get it. It’s a Republican country. It’s a Republican planet. It’s a Republican universe. Fine.
Listen my children, I’m going to tell you something. Bullies are bad but what you really want to look out for is a needle-@#$ bully. Because that’s the truly vicious one. Because of the way it feels to him to be alive. Feel me? And If you’re a little guy like me you’re gonna want some bigger friends at your back, right? When the needle-%#& bully comes around? But here’s the thing: the friends who’ve got your back? You’ve got to pick them carefully. What you don’t want are limp-#$% friends. Because they’re just no darn good in a fight. So happy? I promised you and op-ed about dix and now you’ve got one.
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